


Days Are Gone

by Schock



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Teenage Shenanigans
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-04
Updated: 2014-07-10
Packaged: 2018-02-07 10:14:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1895238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schock/pseuds/Schock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve knew Bucky the way everyone did- not at all. High school AU where Bucky and Steve are on their way to a glorious relationship, until they aren't. Then all that's left is to pick up the pieces.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Crave You

Another monday morning. Lazily, Steve extended his arm out and hammered the alarm clock perched on his bedside table, deafening its cries. Rolling himself out of bed, he wandered down the stairs, leaving his blankets trailing behind him. Breakfast. Alone. It’s not like Steve isn’t grateful for all the hard work his mom does to make sure they can live comfortably, but sometimes he misses her like mad. 

Breakfast done, Steve gets ready in a rush and hustles out the door, just in time to catch a lift with Clint and Natasha. They exchange pleasantries and walk together into the school. Another monday morning.

 

Even though it feels like it’s been this way forever, it hasn’t. Before Steve got his growth spurt and discovered the gym he wasn’t exactly an outcast, but people didn’t know his name like they do now. They never cheered for him when he made a touchdown, or executed a perfect play. Ignoring the fact that that would have been practically _impossible_ given his stature, it was almost like he was invisible. He’s not trying to imply he wasn’t friends with Clint and Natasha before either, because they’ve always been friends, at least him and Natasha anyway- it wasn’t until her and Clint started openly dating that he and Steve became proper friends, but that was still before high school, so it’s been a while now. He’s not trying to say the new friends he’s made aren’t genuine either; he doesn’t really know where he would be without them. But the point is, everybody knows Steve, but they don’t _know_ him.

For Bucky, school is a nightmare. He has one sister, younger, but luckily she hasn’t started high school yet. He likes to be alone. The leather and the makeup and the snarls are just a clever way to keep the world at bay. If somebody wanted to get to know him, they could have tried in elementary school, or middle school, or hell, even freshman year when he was still trying to fit in. He was done with that. He had been sitting by himself and smiling at people for years. Sophomore year he started toughening up his look. Actively keeping away. Eating purposefully by himself. He was a senior now and he knew what worked for him. He didn’t need anyone’s pity.

However, that didn’t seem to apply to well meaning teachers. They all have this weird preoccupation with forcing people to make friends, even though by this point, all the cliques are all well and truly in place. 

 

Monday morning; a new school year. Seating plans _galore_. If that wasn’t enough, cue every teacher playing cheesy get-to-know-you games like they haven’t been through this every year prior with exactly the same people. Bucky has biology first period. It’s the only class he still holds some semblance of hope for, because the new teacher apparently transferred from some private school- meaning he might just get on with it. 

As the bell echoes down the halls and students shuffle off to start the year, Bucky’s hopes go up in flames. Not only does the new teacher, who's name he refuses to learn mostly out of spite, sit them in a seating plan, but he eagerly announces that these will be both their seats for the remainder of the year, and their lab partners. So they best get to know each other. 

“James Barnes, over by the window please,” new teacher chirps out, “Steven-“ 

“It’s Steve, if you don’t mind,” Steve interjects,

“No, not at all, thank you for the correction! You’re over by James,” new teacher flaps his arm in Bucky’s direction, all smiles and nods for Steven Rogers.

Steve lugs himself over to James. In all his years at school, he can only ever remember talking to him once, but for the life of him, he couldn’t tell you what about. He has a bit of a reputation, not that Steve is the kind of guy to judge on that sort of thing, but he can’t help it a little bit. People say he’s in a gang. He apparently has a prosthetic arm, really high tech, but he always covers it up, so Steve isn’t even sure if that’s true. They say he got it after he got his arm shot off. Which is, frankly, the most ridiculous thing Steve has ever heard. He’d rather find out about the guy himself, except, he’s kind of intimidated. Steve may look the part of popular jock, but he’s never been able to shake the ‘little guy’ mentality, and the way he can feel James’ eyes boring into the side of his head just makes him want to retreat into his proverbial shell. Still, this is the plan for the rest of the year, and Steve has never been cowed by rumours before, so he won’t start now.

Steve lets out a huff of breath and turns towards James. “Hi, I’m Steve” he says, smiling in the friendliest way he knows how, hoping the anxiety he feels in his gut isn’t splayed all over his face. 

“Bucky,” James replies.

“Sorry, what was that?” Steve has no idea what just came out of James’ mouth.

“Bucky. It’s my name. Don’t call me James, it’s too weird. Please.” _Bucky_ gives Steve a calculated look and glances down at the desk in front of him. “I want to do well this year, so you better pull your weight. I’m not doing your work for you, but I’m not letting you pull me down either,”

Steve can sincerely say his look of surprise is genuine. He’s impressed, but surprised. 

“It seems like we’ll get on just fine then. The last thing I’m looking for is some slacker to drag my grades through the muck,” he chuckles good-naturedly, but Bucky just gives him a brisk nod and turns his attention to the teacher at the front of the room. 

As the new teacher calls for attention, and begins taking attendance, Bucky lets his mind wander. _Steven Rogers_. The beloved star of the football team. He knows he’s being cynical, and a little rude if he’s honest with himself, but he’s desperately trying to think of any way out of the current situation. Maybe if he tells the teacher he can’t sit next to the window, because he’ll get too distracted? He’d probably just make them switch seats. Which would be even worse. Because then, he would have to endure _not only_ sitting beside Steven Rogers, for a whole hour every day, but would also have to endure sitting beside Steven Rogers, for a whole hour every day, framed by an open window. A breeze lightly blowing his hair out of place, and overall just creating a nauseatingly picturesque scene, the likes of which Bucky isn’t equipped to handle. 

When it comes to Steve, Bucky isn’t equipped to handle anything. 

 

The only time they had ever spoken was at the very end of freshman year. Bucky had never been picked on, but one guy thought he would try his luck. He cornered Bucky against the back of the school after it had been let out, thinking he’d be an easy target. Bucky could have handled it easily enough, until this guys friends grabbed him from behind and started in on him. He ended up walking home with a black eye and some bruises, but it could have been a lot worse. It probably would have been, if Steve hadn’t shown up when he did. Frankly, it was more Natasha than Steve that actually scared them off, enough that Bucky didn’t think he’d ever seen them back around school, but as Steve hauled one of the guys holding Bucky down off of him and offered his hand to help Bucky up, he also offered two words: “You okay?”

And that was that. Bucky remembers mumbling out that he was fine, and proving it by socking one of the guys in the nose, which Steve frowned at. The rest is a blur. He doesn’t recall any details spanning from then to coming back to himself just a few blocks from his house. To make matters worse, it’s impossible to even _try_ hiding a black eye from a nosey sister and her best friend, and an overprotective mother, who ambushed him the moment he put a foot in the house.

“ _Ohhh_ Bucky, have you been _fighting_?” 

“Is it bullies? I’ll get your father to go talk to the principle, we’ll nip this right in the bud!” 

“Did you win?”

“Nah, look at his face. He lost big time.” 

This is followed up with a chorus of giggles and a reprimanding from their mother, sending the girls fleeing to his sister’s room, all while Bucky stands in the doorway averting his eyes. 

“James, come here.” His mother’s tone is soft now, without his sisters peeking in on them. She envelopes him in a hug and cards her fingers through his hair. 

“My boy, what happened? You know better than to think violence is the answer.”

It’s been a trying day for Bucky, and it’s catching up to him now. Moisture pools in the lower rim of his eyes and the gentle repetitive motions of his mother make him feel like he's five again, like she can fix the world if he asked her to.

“I wasn’t fighting ma, I swear. Some guy tried to pick on me and he brought his friends and I was just defending myself.” Quieter, he adds, “Steve helped me,”

His mother pulls back a little to inspect his face. 

“Okay, love. Go clean up,” She kisses his forehead and releases him, smiling fondly. 

“Remember I love you, no matter what,”

As he retreated up the stairs, the burning that threatened his eyes disappeared, leaving him exhausted and confused by what his mom meant. He knew she loved him, but it felt like she was talking about something else. He elected to ignore it, and lay sprawled out on his bed. As he gazed at the ceiling, he couldn’t help but let his thoughts drift back to the fight. He thought about the way Steve had appeared out of nowhere to take down those guys. He imagined himself walking up to Steve the next day and thanking him, joking that he didn’t need his help. Steve would agree, and invite him to eat lunch with him. They could share private jokes and sit together in class and hang out after school. They would be best friends. 

 

Of course, that was just freshmen Bucky’s fantasy. In reality, Steve walked right past Bucky the next day, not even noticing him as he laughed loudly with Natasha, who everyone thought was his girlfriend. Coincidently, that was when he decided to start toughening up his image. If you asked Bucky, he would tell you the two incidents were not related. 

While Bucky’s thoughts drifted, the rest of the class were assigned their seats. Their teacher introduced himself as Mr Humby -not that anyone listened- and went on to outline the course for the year. 

“Seeing as it’s your last year, I figured it would be nice if you got to make some new friends. If you turn to face the person sitting next to you, you will be looking at the one who will not only be helping you on class practical work, but the person who will be your partner in tackling the many projects I task you throughout the year. As well as class work and exams, these projects will ultimately go towards your final grade. I know it can be tough, with so many extra activities, but I do expect you to put time outside of school into these projects.” He paused for effect, “The first of which, you will be receiving today.” 

His words were followed with a tirade of groans from the class sitting in front of him. 

“Hey! Don’t be so skeptical, this one is pretty fun, and an excellent way to get to know your new partner,”

The task was to find out your parents blood type, determine the possible combinations, and finally identify your own. Then, compare with your partner and write up the experiment. In theory, it was simple, and nothing they hadn’t done before, but being assigned a project on the first day was never a good omen for the rest of the year. 

“We’ll do the blood typing in class on Thursday-thats three days from now-so I expect you to find out any relevant information you need before then. We’ll do some discussion in class over the next two days too, but I want you to get collaborating with your partners from the get go. Procrastination will not help you in my class!” 

Thankfully, he was interrupted from saying any more by the shrill noise of the bell, signalling the end of the period. As quick as a flash, the class emptied out of the room, making for their next destination. Bucky filed out behind them. Just as he turned into the corridor, Steve called out to him.

“Hey, Bucky! Hey, wait up!” Bucky didn’t stop for him, or acknowledge him, but Steve didn’t take the hint. Instead, he fell into step at Bucky’s side.

“So, I think we should try and get this thing out of the way as soon as possible. If we do all the planning separately tonight, then meet up tomorrow after school, we can probably get everything down, bar the actual blood typing. But we’ve done that before, so it’s not like it’s going to be a surprise or anything. So in theory, we can get nearly all of it finished.” Steve finished his spiel and glanced at Bucky, “That all right with you?”

Bucky felt like a deer in the headlights, completely caught out by Steve’s furious planning. 

“Yeah ok,” he lamely said in reply. 

“You have facebook right? I’ll message you and we can finalise the details. See ya later Bucky,”

Steve smiled and disappeared into the adjacent classroom. Bucky glanced around. He had been so intent on listening to Steve, that he had walked right past his next class; he was going to be horrendously late. 

\---

 

The rest of the day passed like any other. Despite being the first day of a new school year, it already felt as though they had been back for months and summer break never happened. Steve was hanging around, waiting for Natasha and whoever else to appear so he could get a lift home. If he really wanted to, he could drive himself. It was just that he wasn’t fond of bringing his bike to school-it was too valuable in both monetary and sentimental value, to risk some kid scratching it up by accident or otherwise. Luckily, he wasn’t loitering long. Natasha sidled up beside him at the front steps, Tony, Pepper, Bruce and Clint in tow. Looks like Thor was making his own way home.

“Hey cap, what’s the haps?” Tony flicked his sunglasses down his nose to stare at Steve, raising one eyebrow and smirking in the way that seemed permanently etched onto his face. They all had silly nicknames for each other. Ranging from the frequent use of ‘Captain America’ for Steve, based on his discernible defence of the little guy, to Tony’s self-titled ‘Iron Man,’ which no one really used, except to try and coax him out of one of his coffee-fuelled inventor’s binges. 

Pepper scoffs at Tony and tugs him over to where his ludicrously expensive car is parked in the lot. 

“We’ll see you guys tomorrow at lunch. Bye now.” Tony attempts to get a word in as Pepper shoves him in the car.  “Tony says bye too,” she calls over her shoulder with a wink, before entering the other side of the car with all the grace Tony lacked.

Clint chuckles as the group watch Tony and Pepper speed away. 

“It’s not a combination I would have bet on, but they sure are good for each other,” he comments.

Bruce hums in agreement. 

“Her organisation keeps him grounded. His lack of it helps her unwind. I’ve known Tony a long time, but I think he’s actually invested this time.” 

Natasha snorts. “Poor Pepper.”

 

The group of four trundle over to Natasha’s car and pile in, chatting aimlessly about their classes and teachers. Steve inquires as to whether any of them have had a class with Bucky, but they shake their heads. Natasha mentions one time they had gym together-but her timetable changed and she was moved to a different class. From their earlier conversation, it didn’t seem like Bucky not helping with the work would be an issue, but he couldn’t stop himself from being curious. It didn't take long until they arrived at his house. Jumping out, Steve called his goodbyes and made his way to the front door, unlocking the house, and letting himself in.

With a brief detour to the kitchen to make some food, Steve headed up to his bedroom. Seeing as it was the first day, he had very little actual work to do, so he just decided to waste time mucking about on his computer and doing some quick sketches. Looking up anatomy references sent his mind back to school briefly and he remembered to send Bucky a friend request. By the time he picked up his pencil to start another drawing, his computer pinged to let him know Bucky had accepted, and had sent him a message. 

 

 **James “Bucky” Barnes:** Hey. I found out the blood typing information and background  research. When did you want to meet?

Bucky sent the message and instantly regretted it. He sent it far too quickly. Steve probably knew he had been waiting at his computer for the request, and now thought he was some kind of obsessive freak. The sound of his computer chirping startled him out of his self doubt. 

 

 **Steve Rogers:** That was quick! I have some info too. I was thinking the library after school  tomorrow? 

 

**James “Bucky” Barnes:** That works for me. Don’t you have practise though? 

And now he was a confirmed stalker. Smooth. The pop-up chat told him Steve was writing, so he swung around in his chair, trying to find something to occupy himself so he stopped staring so anxiously at the screen. 

 

 **Steve Rogers** : Nah, it’s freshmen try outs tomorrow and coach said he’d rather have some of the  juniors come down to help so they feel like they have more responsibility now. I’ll  meet you at the library straight after school. :) 

 

**James “Bucky” Barnes:** Ok. Bye Steve.

Bucky lent back from his computer, completely unaware of how close he had gotten to the screen. He smiled goofily to himself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any comments and/or critiques are much appreciated.  
> I'll try to update as often as possible!  
> As always, I can also be reached on my tumblr: thehousepartyprotocol.tumblr.com


	2. Waste

The next school day passed fairly quickly for both Bucky and Steve. They didn’t spend much time talking in class, asides from cursory greetings and biology related discussion, but that didn’t stop either of them sneaking glances at the other. When the final bell rang, Steve gathered his things and headed off to his locker, but not before updating his friends on the fact he would be staying behind. Bruce voiced his worry that he wouldn’t have a way home, but he reassured the other that there were plenty of buses he could catch, or if worst came to worst he could walk, or call someone to fetch him. It appeared to put him at ease, but Steve suspected it was more for Natasha’s concern than his own. 

 

That done, he embarked towards the library, but stopped short when he saw Bucky standing in front of the doors-marked with a large ‘closed’ sign. 

“They haven’t finished cataloguing all the books, so it’s closed until next week,” said Bucky.

“Of course. I think I remember them making that announcement, I guess I wasn’t paying enough attention. Do you know anywhere else we could get this project done?” Steve replied.

Bucky squirmed for a second, “We could probably get it done at my place? If you don’t mind bratty sisters, I mean.”

Steve smiled and nodded, “Sounds good! Is it far?”

“No, I usually walk,” said Bucky.

The two walked to Bucky’s house in relative silence, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Upon arriving, Bucky thanked his stars that his sister was out at her after school activities, but his mother was sitting at the kitchen table. 

“Hi James, how was school?” She asked as he wandered in the door. However, as Steve followed him inside, her eyebrows shot up, and she flicked him another question.

“Who’s this? I don’t think we’ve met.”

“Nice to meet you ma’am. I’m Steve,” said Steve, holding out his hand and smiling warmly.

“Polite! I like this one,” she replied, shaking his hand. “I’m Winifred, James’ mother.”

Bucky hustled Steve upstairs before his mother could get another word in. 

“Nice to meet you Steve!” She called up after them, “Tell me if you boys need anything!”

 

Steve found himself led into what he assumed was Bucky’s room. The walls were bare, and the bedsheets a plain grey colour. Only the laptop open and the mess of papers on the desk gave any sign that someone lived there; besides that, it was almost inhumanly clean.

“Your mom is nice,” Steve remarked, still gazing around the room, “I bet mine would be too if I kept my room this clean.” He laughed and looked back at Bucky.

The corners of Bucky’s mouth twitched up.

“It’s been a while since I’ve had anyone over. She was probably shocked,” He responded. Bucky took a seat at his desk and cleared some space, pulling out the notes he had planned to use at the library. He cleared his throat.

“Should we get started?”

Steve pulled up a chair next to him and pulled out his own notes. “Better now than later,” He remarked with a grin.

 

They worked diligently for a couple of hours, collating their information and putting together their final piece, before Steve lent back in his chair and stretched. 

“It feels like we’ve really broken the back on this thing. I can’t believe how well we worked,” he said.

“Yeah I know. Who would have guessed?” Bucky smirked at Steve for a second, before getting up out of his chair. “Do you want anything to eat?” He questioned.

Steve’s stomached rumbled in reply. 

“Apparently so,” He said, mirth in his voice. 

“I’ll go down and grab us something. Theres a bathroom just around the corner, first door on your left, if you need it.” 

With that, Bucky disappeared out of the room and down the stairs. Left by himself, Steve could contemplate how well he and Bucky were getting on. Bucky wasn’t at all what Steve thought he would be like. After that first day, he was expecting monosyllabic replies and maybe a cigarette break, if the rumours were true, not a snack one. Bucky was a little snarky, but not in a rude way and funny too. His biology knowledge was good, even going so far as to clarify things for Steve, without him needing to ask and without being condescending. Honestly, he was really enjoying being around him, and he could almost forgive Mr Humby for forcing them into a seating arrangement, if it meant they could become better friends. He was surprised out of his musing by Bucky sticking his head through the doorway. 

“That was quick,” Steve said.

“Yeah. Um. My mom wants to know if you want to stay for dinner? Her and dad are meeting at a restaurant and my sister is staying over at her friends house tonight, so we can just order pizza or something.” Bucky rushed out the sentence and looked earnestly at Steve.

Steve smiled. “Sounds great! I’ll just go call my mom, I don’t want her to worry where I am.”

 

As Steve wandered down the hall to make his call, Bucky dashed downstairs to confirm with his mother, before dashing back up the stairs to wait in his room. He was excited, although part of him was worried Steve was only staying to be polite, but he knew he wasn’t that sort of guy. Bucky chuckled wryly to himself. Here he was making all sorts of assumptions after hanging out with Steve one time. Maybe he was that sort of guy. Bucky hoped he wasn’t. 

 

Steve returned to Bucky’s room and the pair decided on a couple of movies to watch with dinner. Having Bucky’s parents and sisters out was a godsend; it meant he could actually get to know Steve better without having them breathing down his neck and asking uncomfortable questions. They ordered pizza half way through the first movie and devoured it, including a battle for the last piece. By the time they were finished with the final movie, Bucky and Steve were huddled together on Bucky’s bed, poking fun at the plot holes and terrible acting.

Steve sat up and checked his phone for the time.

“Hey, Bucky, it’s gotten pretty late, I might have to head off,” Steve said.

“Yeah, wow, that went really quickly, right? Do you need a lift or anything?” Bucky replied, swinging his legs down off the bed and helping Steve gather his forgotten notes. 

“Nah it’s ok, I can manage.” 

Once collected, they chatted about nothing as they walked to the front door.

Steve looked uncertain for a minute, “I had a really good time tonight, it was fun” 

“Me too.” 

Bucky’s reply sounded weird even to his own ears, and to his mortification he felt his ears get hot.

He opened his mouth to try and alleviate some of the tension in the room, but luckily, he was interrupted by a car horn outside.

“That must be my mom. I’ll see you tomorrow in class, thanks for having me over,” said Steve.

“No problem, anytime, really,” mumbled Bucky as he shut the door behind him. He felt like a total dork.

 

The following week, nothing much changed. Bucky and Steve said hello in the hallways and chatted in class but didn’t eat together at lunch. Steve kind of wanted to ask him, but he didn’t want to intrude. It was the kind of thing that didn’t take long for his friends to notice. They turned on him the moment he sat down.

“Alright Rogers, spill. Why are you making sad eyes at Barnes?”

“I’m not making sad eyes, Tony.” Steve sighed. “I told you guys we were working on that project together right? Well he’s a good guy and I’m wondering if he would want to sit with us.” 

“No,” Natasha replied without flinching.

“Natasha! Surely James deserves a chance if he has managed to win over our friend Steven so thoroughly and so quickly!” Steve cringed a little, he was fond of Thor, but not always in favour of his booming voice. When Steve looked back at Natasha, at least expecting some kind of explanation, she just gave him a little smile.

“Instead of hauling him over to sit with a bunch of strangers, why don’t you invite him to Maria’s party on Friday?” Despite her casual tone, and her logic, Steve got the feeling she was scheming. “It would make more sense and it’s not like she’s going to care. In fact, I think I remember  Maria telling me she had a crush on him. She’d probably thank you,” 

“Yeah, ok. I will. Thanks Natasha,” Steve shook aside his suspicions. He was pretty sure he could catch up to Bucky after school.

 

“Hey Bucky! Hey!” 

Bucky stopped and waited for Steve, who was racing up behind him. 

He laughed breathlessly. 

“You don’t hang around after school do you?”

“No. I’d rather just get home. This isn’t exactly my favourite place,”

“You can say that again. Hey, uh, have you heard about Maria’s party?”

“No. I don’t exactly get invited to parties.” Bucky knew he was being short with Steve, but he didn’t appreciate talking about this sort of thing. It wasn’t a sore spot exactly, it was just that he didn’t know how to deal with it. So he just, sort of, didn’t.

“Maybe that’s because you’re so grumpy!” Bucky frowned at Steve, and wanted to be mad, but he knew he was just teasing him. That didn’t stop Bucky from mumbling _I’m not grumpy_ back at Steve under his breath though. 

“Anyway, all of us are going, and I thought it would be fun if you came along too. I heard from Natasha that Maria has a crush on you,” Steve emphasised his point by waggling his eyebrows at Bucky. Bucky wasn’t amused. 

“I don’t like Maria. I don’t even know her,” Bucky replied. 

Steve was surprised at the warm tingle of pleasure that hearing Bucky say he didn’t like Maria induced. He didn’t realise how invested he was in the friendship, if he was so concerned about who Bucky dated. Maria was nice though. Maybe not nice enough for Bucky. Natasha and him had a similar demeanour. But Natasha was dating Clint. Not that Clint would mind, as long as he was included. It was at that point Steve realised how far his thoughts had deviated. 

“C’mon Bucky, it’ll be fun. Just give it a try. If aren’t enjoying yourself, you can leave. No big deal. No expectations,” 

Bucky deliberated for a few seconds, staring at his feet.

“Okay.”

“Really?”

Bucky’s eyes lurched from his feet to glare at Steve.

“Im kidding! I _can_ do that on occasion you know,” Steve huffed out a laugh. “I’m guessing you don’t know where Maria lives, so I can give you a lift. I’ll talk to you about it on faceboook. See you later, Bucky.” 

 

Bucky belatedly waved at Steve, before trudging back to his house. Upon arriving, he did everything in his power to avoid thinking about Maria’s party. He wanted to go. He did. But he was nervous. Years of functioning on his own had made him socially awkward and he hated small talk. Then, people would start asking questions and expecting answers, which Bucky really wasn’t prepared for, and the night would invariably end with Bucky’s lonesome status verified; even Steve wouldn’t be willing to hang around. Because he was a freak. A fucked up, antisocial freak. 

 

The night of the party, Bucky found his mind drifting. He desperately wanted to call Steve and tell him he couldn’t make it, he was sick, _anything,_ but earlier in the week he had assured him he would be there. He knew Steve wouldn’t hold it against him, but he didn’t want to lose his new friend, or sabotage his chance at making more.

He had ended up wearing a plain white tee and his leather jacket, hoping to god the temperature didn’t rise any more, and waiting outside his house for Steve to arrive.

Bucky heard Steve before he saw him. Sitting astride a Harley Davidson, Steve pulled up at the curb in front of Bucky, the bike purring beneath him. 

“Hey Bucky, jump on,” Steve said, tossing Bucky his spare helmet. 

Bucky grabbed the helmet and put it on, swinging his leg over the bike and sliding in behind Steve. At first, Bucky hovered his arms at his sides, unsure of whether to hold onto Steve’s waist or his shoulders, but the decision was made for him as they took off, leaving him no choice but to wrap himself around Steve like a limpet, holding on for his life. They zipped through the streets quickly and Bucky found himself thankful for the helmet, not only because of how unbelievably they were to the ground, but also because it hid the look of terror that he was sure was etched onto his features. He had never been on a motorbike before. One thing he wasn’t thankful for, however, was the loud grumble of the engine. Especially when it makes everyone hanging around outside of Maria’s place turn to look at them. 

 

Truth is, this was the first time Bucky had ever been to a party. He had a fair idea of how the cliches went, but he had no idea how close that was to the real thing. He scrambled off the back of the bike, forgetting how terrified he had been just moments before, and tried to take a step; his legs immediately went to jelly. He couldn’t remember Steve getting off but he must have, because it was only his firm grip on his upper arm that kept him from making a fool of himself and crumbling to the ground. He smiled tightly at Steve, suddenly too overwhelmed with anxiety to do much else. Steve smiled back and pulled him along into Maria’s house. 

 

Her house was packed. People stood or danced in little groups, generally just loudly enjoying themselves. They greeted Steve warmly, and Bucky by extension, but he was more concerned with just following behind Steve and not getting lost in the crowd. He felt someone push a drink into his hand and blindly accepted it, secretly thankful for the social crutch, while the pair rounded a corner into a living room. Loud cries of recognition greeted them, and Bucky stood awkwardly to one side as Steve’s friends embraced him and pulled him to their circle. He didn’t fancy hanging on the fringes of a group for the whole night and instantly contemplated leaving, until he felt a hand land on his shoulder.

“Hey Barnes, is it true you have a wicked cool bionic arm?” Tony Stark peered up at him, and Bucky could feel himself fluster. Tony was wealthy and a genius-no one really knew why he still attended high school when he could be graduating from MIT by now, but having those intelligent eyes focused on him so intently made Bucky feel like an experiment he didn’t agree to. 

“ _Tony_ ,” Steve reprimanded from his seat on the couch. “Bucky, you don’t have to answer that. You’ll get used to him after a while, I swear he’s not always like that,”

Bucky didn’t miss the implication Steve wanted him to hang around. 

“No, it’s ok. I do have one,” Bucky looked solemnly around the group. “I also work for a secret organisation bent on taking down the government and shaping it to meet their own ends,” 

Clint perked up from where he’d been studying the dismal music choices. “What. You’re joking right?” He looked over at Steve, who was trying to contain his laughter. “He’s joking right? Steve c’mon. This isn’t the kinda thing you keep to yourself,” 

Bucky turned and looked dramatically out of the window. 

“I got shot,” he deadpanned. He managed to keep a straight face for only a few seconds, before he cracked a smile. The aghast expression on Clint’s face was priceless. “Kidding! Who has a bionic arm? That’s ridiculous,” It seemed to lift the tension in the room, as everyone devolved into laughter and Clint playfully pulled him to the couch, grousing about how he was just going along with it and he knew Bucky had been lying all along. 

From there, the night got easier. Drink after drink was put into Bucky’s hand, but he couldn’t remember actually finishing any of them. People blurred in and out of the room in a constant but anonymous stream. Laughter and music swirled together to form a cacophony, discernible to Bucky’s hazy mind. Conversations held above and around him started moving at a pace too quick to follow, but he laughed when they looked at him, adding in comments he thought were prudent, making them laugh while taking shots of liquid courage and _he had never felt so good_. Pins and needles danced to the beat along his nerves, making his hands and feet itch, but he ignored it, rather than risk being discovered as someone who didn’t know what they were doing. Steve stayed with him. He remained at Bucky’s side the whole night, a constant, warm weight, pressed against his shoulder. When someone shouted spin the bottle, Bucky hollered his assent louder than anyone. Not that he’d ever played, but at that moment he was willing to go along with anything that was granted general consensus. He pulled himself down onto the floor and goggled up at Steve, tugging exaggeratedly on his shirt to get him to play. Steve laughed and gently pulled Bucky’s hand away, sliding down next to him. By the time Bucky managed to drag his attention back to the game and away from the picture of their legs lying together, a large circle of teenagers in varying stages of drunkenness had formed. 

Maria clambered up to her feet and haphazardly waved her arms around to get the group’s attention. 

“Okay people. Normal rules apply. One minute of kissing, no exceptions,” she explained, surprisingly coherent for all her staggering about. “Let’s play!”

The bottle spun back and forth through the circle, people kissing and leaving and joining in a fluid motion. Bucky was starting to feel sick, but snapped back to reality as his name was chanted over and over and over. The open mouth of a beer bottle stared him down from the centre of the circle. A small, feminine, hand curled itself around its middle and pushed it aside. Maria crawled through the space, towards Bucky, settling herself on his outstretched legs. Bucky noticed her makeup was smudged a little down her eyes, before she lent forwards and pressed her lips hard against his. Muffled cheering registered in Bucky’s mind, but mostly he was focused on the sloppy slide of their mouths, the way Maria ran her tongue along his bottom lip, sucking gently, before releasing with a wet pop. She pulled away and retreated to her friends, gossiping and giggling in their huddle. Bucky turned his head to ask Steve if kissing was supposed to feel so numb, because whoever told him it was like fireworks was a liar, but Steve was gone. 

 

Disorientated, Bucky whipped his head around to look for someone he knew, who could tell him where Steve was, before remembering Steve was the only reason he came. Guilt seeped into his brain and he stood to try and find him and apologise. He staggered, but someone grabbed his forearm to keep him upright. He didn’t know them. He stammered out a question about Steve’s location, and they laughed before telling him he was gone. Bucky nodded yes, but couldn’t make sense of the situation. How would Bucky get home without Steve? Flustered, something told Bucky he had to get home now, urgently. He wobbled to the adjoining kitchen, asking if anybody could give him a lift. A guy Bucky didn’t know, and had never met, agreed to take him and together they shakily made their way through the crowd to his car. Bucky entered the backseat from the left hand side, closest to the curb. He watched as it took the guy several attempts to get his key into the ignition. They pulled away and started driving. In Bucky’s alcohol soaked brain, time had little meaning. He wound down the window and draped his arm out, thankful for the cool air on his hot face. After what felt like hours in the car, they approached the intersection before Bucky’s house. 

He told the guy, “I can see my house from here!” He laughed. 

 

Steve was disappointed with how the night had gone. Bucky had gotten on so well with his friends, with everyone really, it was a wonder that he always sat alone. He was the master at comedic timing, every word witty and sharp, despite the amount of alcohol he sucked down. Steve had never been much of a drinker, preferring to remain the sober driver. As the party progressed, more and more people turned up, hanging on Bucky’s every word. Yet, still he looked at Steve for his approval every time, even when the joke wasn’t aimed at him. It was endearing to say the least. However, when the call went out for spin the bottle and Bucky loudly and drunkenly agreed, Steve only let him pull him to the ground out of concern for his current state. Maria stood and slurred out the instructions, more ums and uhs and incoherent babbling than anything else. After that, the game was played more or less by rigging the bottle to aim at someone you wanted to kiss. Bucky lent heavily on his side, groaning a bit about feeling ill, so Steve peeled himself away with a promise to fetch a bucket and some water, which he wasn’t entirely sure Bucky registered. It was hell trying to find a bucket in this place, so he settled on a pan from the kitchen and poured some water into a glass with a straw. As an afterthought, he went back to grab a piece of bread from the kitchen, accidentally bumping into someone.

“Dude! I am so fucked! Like, I am so gone right now!” He lurched into Steve’s space. “This party is so good. Are you as gone as I am? Because I am so fucked!” Steve jerked out of his grip, but he seemed determined not to let Steve leave without an answer.

“Yeah, uh, me too. So gone right now.” He laughed right in Steve’s face, before staggering off in the other direction. That was a prime example of why Steve didn’t drink. Nothing good could come of it. He searched around for some bread, but couldn’t find any around, so pulled out a loaf from the freezer. He also figured that if everyone was as drunk as they were acting, they could all do with some bread and water, so defrosted the whole thing and set out some glasses of water. Happy with his work, Steve re-entered the living room, but Bucky was nowhere to be seen. Thor and a girl he recognised as Jane Foster, were making out on one of the couches. He awkwardly interrupted them to find out if they knew where Bucky went, but they both replied negatively. 

“Perhaps our new friend has found his way home?” Thor looked at Jane for confirmation. Steve groaned. “That’s impossible! I was the one who brought Bucky here,”

“Oh, right, but I think I saw him leave with Jake?” She blushed a dark red, “I can’t say I was paying too much attention, sorry Steve,” 

He reassured her it was ok, but inside he was panicking. He had seen Jake earlier. He had been drinking. 

 

Bucky’s laugh was the last sound before the screeching impact of metal on metal. Jake, drunk and exhausted, had passed out behind the wheel, leaving the car to careen into oncoming traffic. With the first hit, they spun in midair, landing hard on the roof, before being slammed into by cars from the opposite direction. The wail of sirens permeated the night air. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! As always feedback is appreciated.  
> Next chapter probably won't be up for a week or so.


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